Tag Archive | humor

Spring Renewal

Spring renewal so romantic and quaint,

But I’m here to tell you that sometimes it ain’t.

And when the notices come all at once,

Respond in time or be a dunce,

Member of this, certified in that.

Renew the license on the cat,

Renew my privilege to drive,

And my pledge to help someone survive,

(In the event of my demise,

My parts may live on in disguise.)

Renew attempts to not be fat,

Renewals make my wallet flat

But to complain is of no use,

Except it’s fun to sound like Dr. Seuss.

Tea Slinger

Good strong tea

I stagger into the kitchen
(Because I’m Not a Morning Person)
And think,
“I need a good stiff drink.”
Opening the cupboard
Like a gunslinger
Bursting through saloon doors
I rifle through its contents
I know you’re in there!
Who will it be today?
English Breakfast or Earl Grey
Come and meet your maker!
DECAF?!
That will never do
I’m not looking for you
How’d you get in here anyway?
Must have snuck in from the store.

Ahhh, nothing like good strong tea
With a little cream and sugar
On a rainy day
I think I’ll read Louis L’Lamour.

Cat Capers

645

Now Dibley’s our wee little cat,
And Molly’s the other, she’s fat.
Though not friends at the start,
They’ve now had change of heart,
So where one is the other is at.

Dibley is naughty for sure,
If something’s not right, it was her.
Molly seems innocent,
But her nature’s still bent,
She gets by on a wing and a purr.

Insurrection!

The party’s over
The host reels in dismay
As the little usurper asserts its authority–
Just doin my job ma’am
Everyone out of the pool! No further admittance.
The stomach is temporarily closed for periodic maintenance.
Discontent swells among the invited guests
There are only two ways out of this place
Where are we supposed to go now?
Come on! let some of us pass through
Nope.
How are we supposed to get out of here?
Hit the eject button.
The miserable host agrees
Yes, please hit the eject button
Will some syrup of ipecac help?
Not necessary ma’am
We can do it
Just brace yourself
The invited guests
Thrown out with such force
Embarrassing the exhausted host
But finally it was over
Sleep and repair follow

Adventures in Kitty Sitting

The four-legged black ninja phantom menaces have worn themselves out and are scattered about the room in three furry piles.  One on the back of a chair, one in the window sill, the other curled up and purring beside me.

My daughter discovered the opportunity to foster kittens for a rescue shelter and thought that would be a fun project while home from college this summer.  After filling out the required paperwork, interviewing at the agency and touring their facility we brought home our first small charges.  Three 12-week-old kittens needing to be socialized and their health monitored and maintained until they are ready for adoption into a permanent home.  In this case just two to three weeks.

In just one week they’ve gone from hiding out under the bed to scurrying wildly throughout the house like the keystone cops.  They are all black and difficult to tell apart, but we’ve gotten to know them.  Some cats are called “Tuxedos” because they are mostly black with a white chest.  These have a marking  more like  a clerical collar.  They each have a small white patch on their neck that you can’t really see until you lift up their chin.

Finn was the most rambunctious and fearless from the beginning.  He is also the most affectionate and readily finds a warm lap to curl up in.  This has not made my resident cat, Raleigh, happy at all.  He usually sits in my lap and sometimes even watches TV with me.  Now he walks by and looks at me as if I’m a traitor.

Fergus has the most beautiful gold eyes, the softest fur and the quietest demeanor.  I think if I were inclined to keep one of them (which I’m not) he would be my choice, he doesn’t get in as much trouble as the other two.

Molly is the most shy but just as adventurous as Finn.  It is a little hard to determine if her unwillingness to be picked up is from fear or typical female independence.  I think it is more the latter.  She is very smart.  She quickly learned that she could have human beings running around looking quite ridiculous if she just runs under the dining room table and moves from one side to the other among the chair legs.  When all were playing with a fishing pole toy (again, the favorite of Raleigh, he is not happy to share) she managed to carry the whole thing;  fish, line and pole under the table, ending the game for everyone else (the humans found this very funny).

This is my daughter’s project but now she has a summer job and I’m home for the summer.  So, I spend a good portion of my day keeping Molly off the kitchen counter, Finn and Molly off the curtains, and all three of them from scratching on the furniture.  It’s nice when they take a nap.  I draw the line at litterbox duty!

Of course there is some work and inconvenience involved.  But the perks are worth it.  There is something very comforting about having a little bundle of life choose to come and sit on or beside you, nuzzle their head into your hand and loudly purr as if to say, “I think you’re a nice person, I really like you.”